Saturday, November 28, 2015

More Inappropriate Workplace Hilarity

One of my department co-workers was talking about a customer. Apparently the customer was shaking primer by hand at home, and when he opened the lid, the primer exploded onto his face.

My favorite manager was asking my co-worker about the incident, when I said, "it's such a bummer when men explode all over themselves."

The manager looked at me and said something like, "I don't appreciate those kinds of comments directed at young men such as myself and your co-worker."

I just smiled. I can get away with shit like this because I am DAMN good at my job (I had a customer ask for me by name tonight) and because this particular manager loves me like a daughter.

Even though I'm much older than he is.


Monday, November 23, 2015

Mini Movie Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't forget to post the video! And this is a brand-new video! I drove down the famous Lombard Street!

Take the Survey!

Doing research for one of my grad projects, so if you read erotic fiction, take my survey. It's totally anonymous, so unless you are dumb enough to sign your name, I won't know who you are.

Take the survey here:

I would like enough responses to put together a fancy graph for the proposal, so it looks like I actually did research.

Sunday, November 22, 2015


It's all fun and games until your co-worker sticks her finger into your mouth.

Saturday, November 21, 2015


Less than 48 hours after returning from a totally validating week in San Francisco (seven agents are interested in my manuscript), my car breaks down. Then, I forgot to take my house key and jump drive off the key ring. My neighbor, who has my spare key is not home. I had to call a locksmith.

Thanks, Fort Wayne. I missed you too*.

*Not really.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Mini Movie Monday!

There are complaints that video games are super violent, but back in 1800 whatever, or perhaps 1900 whatever, you could pay money to see a hanging. Behold, The English Execution.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

National Lampoon's California Vacation

After worrying about it for weeks, I'm in California for a writing conference. So far, so good.

Mr. Bill was a stowaway. He hid in my new handbag, and then complained about being hungry. I explained to him no way was I shelling out $4 for a tiny fucking can of Pringles. Once he saw the prices, he understood.

So we shared a Coke Zero (it was free) and some pretzels I brought from home.

Mr. Bill was very impressed with the view from steerage economy class. We got lucky--the person who had the center seat didn't show up. More leg room for me and the lady sitting in the aisle seat.

Mr. Bill catching a nap. I can't sleep on the plane.I fly so infrequently, it's tremendously exciting when I do, and that interactive screen that showed the maps and all the different views and what the outside temperature was way better than an $8 movie.

I saw a chair like this in a 'zine, and that chair was going for $1,600 in an vintage furniture store in NYC. It's a "Jacobsen Egg Chair." However, the person who wrote about it for the 'zine paid something like $25 at a thrift store. Modern In Designs has a chair just like this for a mere $695. A real Jacobsen Egg Chair would run you around $5,999. I'm gonna see if I can drag this downstairs and have the guy at SFO shrink-wrap it for me so I can take one home. These have to be the coolest chairs at San Francisco International Airport.

Somehow, I'm not surprised to see a yoga room in a California airport. But it makes sense--after sitting for hours, a good stretch is just what you need.

Due to the unfortunate placement of this sign, I will forever associate San Francisco with Starbucks, even though I know Seattle is to blame.

Since my novel is in a hot genre, if I get an amazing book deal, this is my next car. It's only $88K and change.