Thursday, August 27, 2015

Don't Hate Me, Just 'Cause You're Pasty...

Three people in the last two weeks have remarked about how tan I am. The funny thing is, I haven't laid out in the sun all summer, because it was just so cold and rainy. When it finally warmed up, the hot days happened when I had other plans, and by then, the pools were closed. If I lay out, it's usually by a pool. When I finally get too uncomfortable, I jump into the pool. I didn't go swimming once this summer. It was just too damn cold.

I don't think I'm super-dark, but I swear, I get darker if a flashbulb goes off. The "tan" I've got going is just from doing regular stuff I need to do by getting out of the house. But it's funny, people are envious and I'm just like, "I'm half Puerto Rican. I will never NOT be tan in the summer."

These are the legs that made one of my friends say, "I hate you."


And I have to shake my head when I see people who are seriously pale. They look strange to me.

My "EZ-Tan" skin and the jealousy make up for the time in elementary school when some boy called me a "nigger." Haters gonna hate...

Monday, August 24, 2015

Mini Movie Monday!

My least favorite video of the 49 I've uploaded here. I entered a contest, but because The Onion couldn't buy one second of Super Bowl ad time, I and thousands of other entrants were denied a shot at televised national fame and glory. I collected my urine, and used an empty bottle of Dawn to spell out the Onion Sports Network logo, and the Roman numerals for Super Bowl 45. I was cut off because I couldn't say, "Super Bowl 45" in one second.

Because this got on an Onion contest website, I have more than 9,000 views.

What can you do in one Goddamn second? So I must have been channeling some "guy thoughts" because I thought, "I'll just spell stuff in the snow with urine."

My ex-boyfriend thought the idea was "brilliant!"



Monday, August 17, 2015

Mini Movie Monday!

Just when I was getting used to saying, "Congressman for Life Mark Souder", he had an affair with a staffer and resigned. I couldn't believe it when a friend called to tell me. I just love it when people preaching abstinence and family values gets caught doing the nasty with a staff member. Anyway, couldn't resist making a silly little rap and video about the event.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Restricted Area Means Just That ...

http://abcnews.go.com/US/man-killed-raptor-roller-coaster-cedar-point-park/story?id=33072654


I'm sorry this guy died, but I have to question his motives. Is a cell phone THAT important? And if it were that important, why didn't he secure it properly? I've ridden this coaster several times, and before getting on the train, everything I care about is securely buttoned into several pockets in my cargo shorts, or if an item is too big, I rent a locker.

If this guy went to retrieve an iPhone, then it really is tragic. We had those at work, and because I hate Apple (AND the phones sucked) I chose an android phone. No regrets.

Still, sucks for this guy's family. I feel bad, but no possession is worth dying for. And if you can't live without your smartphone until the end of the day (when it was fairly certain he could have notified ride operators he lost his phone, and probably would have gotten it back) then society really is going to hell.

Monday, August 10, 2015

The Vagina Monologues (Because He Liked to Look at It)





Last February, I was in a production of The Vagina Monologues. I really had a good time participating. This particular monologue was easier for me to do. It is called, "Because He Liked to Look at It."

We were not required to memorize our parts, although I tried to as much as possible, so I didn't feel like I was constantly reading it. We were not allowed to record video of the play, so this was shot in my backyard, so that a co-worker who could not attend the production could see what I was doing.

I'll shoot my other monologue when I get the time. That part required that I lose some inhibitions I had about the part, and to play certain lines for laughs. I understand how acting can become addictive.





Monday, August 3, 2015

Mini Movie Monday

Okay, so this isn't original. But I loved this version of "People are still having sex", so I uploaded this to Youtube. I'm  sorry the sound is so muddy. It came from the original cassette tape.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ECUl-MUtyd8

Friday, July 31, 2015

Mission Accomplished

If I  don't talk about it, it has a better chance of happening, it seems.